This Week on the Island 06/27/2004

'This week on the Island' is written by Doug Bennett and is an update to friends about happenings in Key West last week. Everything is true except for those parts that are lies.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This week in Key West is the Key West Gator Club Dolphin Derby, The African/American Heritage Festival and the Tropical Fruit Festa.

This week included June 21, the longest day of the year, the start of summer in the Northern Hemisphere and the Summer Solstice. The sun is as far north as it gets and will now start it journey south. On December 21, the Winter Solstice, the sun will start heading north again. (We all know the sun does not head north and south it is the tilt of the earth that causes our seasons. ) http://scienceworld.wolfram.com/astronomy/SummerSolstice.html

Michael McCloud is a singer at Schooner Wharf Bar. He sings many songs that sound like Buffett could have written them. He really does NOT like Buffett. Anyway he has a song he wrote about 20 years ago and sings all the time. It is called 'Tourist Town Bar'. It is on his Cd 'Gretastits'. Well, Toby Keith was in town doing some recording at Buffett's recording studio last year and they spent many hours at Schooner Wharf Bar listening to Michael McCloud. Now Toby Keith has a new hit that went all the way to the top of the charts. It is called 'I Love This Bar' and is on his CD 'Shock'n Y'all' that he released in November 2003. The hit sounds a lot like 'Tourist Town Bar'. There is a law suite pending between Michael McCloud and Toby Keith.

Toby Keith http://www.tobykeith.com/index.htm?inc=albums
Michael McCloud http://www.michaelmccloud.com/CD%20Page.htm

The USA got a few more citizens this week when Jose Contreras' (picture for NY Yankees) family (wife and 2 children) defected from Cuba. They came ashore at Big Pine Key.

In Key West, we all go to Mallory Square at sunset to watch the 'sun set'. On our early morning walk on Monday, the dogs and I met some tourist that were headed to Mallory Square to watch the sunrise. ?????????

Key West, You have got to love it
Doug Bennett

PS If any of you missed it Friday, You can view Buffett's concert in Rockefeller Plaza at:
http://msnvideo.msn.com/video/default.aspx?prepend=a221539d-1c23-414f-ba68-3128cedc571e,03aa24ca-9e56-4631-97aa-d1f23e3678b6,d0f993fe-0ead-4d68-8f7b-9599e358c6dd,0ba3f5eb-cccb-4256-b09c-e0aae59f6dae,d39e6094-6875-4850-89ec-d9007f7d867e&list=source_MSNBC

This Week on the island 06/20/2004

'This week on the Island' is written by Doug Bennett and is an update to friends about happenings in Key West last week. Everything is true except for those parts that are lies.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The USS Razorback has been in harbor this week This is a WWII diesel sub that is the only sub to win battle ribbons in WWII and Vietnam. It was put in service in 1944 and out of service in 1970. It was sold to Turkey and now has retired from Turkey and is on its way to Little Rock, Arkansas to be in a museum. It is the longest serving sub any where in the world. One of the crew from WWII took a tour of the sub and said 'Everything looks like it did when I left in 1948'. http://www.diodon349.com/US_Subs/uss_razorback_ss394_returns_to_america.htm

This week has been full of events. We started with the Cuban-American Heritage Week and it was overlapped by 'Chicken Fest' and in the middle of the week we had the local Parrot Head Meeting which we held on a sunset cruise on the Sebago Catamaran.

Cuban- American Heritage is big in Key West as there are many ex-Cubans here. El Mason De Pepe's at Mallory Square is a big sponsor for many of the events. Most events had cigars to celebrate the old cigar rolling days of Key West. Friday there was a coast to coast conga line down Duval. Lots of 'Salsa Party's' all week. http://www.cubanfest.com/

The 'Chicken Fest' http://cfkw.org/
Thursday
FOWL FOLLIES - Costume Contest and Talent Revue Pier House & Fairvilla CHICK-N-DALES DRUMSTICK CONTEST Hog's Breath Saloon
Friday
TASTES LIKE CHICKEN COOK-OFF & PARTY
Saturday
5k RUNNING OF THE CHICKENS
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE STREET FAIR
COMCAST POULTRY IN MOTION PARADE
CRAZY CRABBY CHICKEN BOP
Sunday
SUNNY SIDE UP FAIR

The Southernmost Parrot Head Club took a cruise on the Sebago Catamaran. There were 15 members present and we had a wonderful time. Pictures at http://www.sphckeywest.com/SPHC%20June%20on%20Sebago_1.htm

Key West, You have got to love it
20ug Bennett

This Week on the Island 06/13/2004

'This week on the Island' is written by Doug Bennett and is an update to friends about happenings in Key West last week. Everything is true except for those parts that are lies.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It is true, the wet season has arrived. It actually rained this week. That would be the first rain in weeks. Remember Key West is the driest city in Florida. Miami gets rain almost every day.

Jabour's, the camp site/trailer park about 1 block from the house has closed. I guess we will see clearing of the land and the short term rental condo's being built soon. They are 2 bedroom, 2 bath, kitchen and a large living area and are selling for $1.5 Million.

During the offshore power boat racing last month the promoters spent $10,000 to hire a helicopter to patrol the area for the race. They were to look for sea turtles, manatees, etc. The race was stopped twice for the same turtle and once the helicopter rescued a sea turtle that had been attacked by a shark.

Now with the front porch completed, I have had time to go kayaking again. The first day out I got a little too much sun. I guess during the two weeks building the porch, 1 week building a boat for the minimal regatta, and 1 week painting, I must have faded.

Pride Week continued this week with many activities. On Friday and Saturday there was a street fest on Duval in the 800 block. http://www.pridefestkeywest.com/

Oliver North was in Key West this week. He was filming an episode for his TV series 'War Stories'. This one is about Cuba and the USA in the Kennedy years.

Key West, You have got to love it
Doug Bennett

This Week on the Island 06/06/2004

'This week on the Island' is written by Doug Bennett and is an update to friends about happenings in Key West last week. Everything is true except for those parts that are lies.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This week I finished painting the new front porch. It really looks good and all the neighbors say it looks exactly like the old front porch. We also passed 'inspection' by the City of Key West.

It is quite on the island this week. The start of hurricane season, and the end of the dry season. The Navy is dredging the harbor and the dock at the 'outer mole'. The ships that were scheduled to dock there are having to dock off the island and have their passengers brought to shore by boat. Many of these ships are going to other ports until the construction is complete.

This week starts 'Pride Week' in Key West. It used to be known as 'Gay Pride Week'. The town should fill up by next week end.

My neighbor, Sam, had his car demolished by a drunk at 2:45 AM Sunday morning. His car was parked on the side of the road. She was telling police that he pulled out in front of her. He was in his house asleep. She was taken off to jail.

Key West, you have go to love it
Doug Bennett
-------------------------------------History-----------------------------------------
Florida belonged to the Spanish from 1513 until 1821 or about 300 years until the United States purchased it from them. It was discovered by Ponce de Leon after he came with Columbus on his second voyage in 1493. Ponce de Leon lived in Hispaniola and discovered Borinquin (Puerto Rico) before he discovered Florida. An old map of Florida will show that it stretched from Jacksonville to the Mississippi River and that Alabama and Mississippi were land locked. The Western sections of Florida were given to Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana. This means that Florida lost about 20% of it's land mass to these other states.

This week on the Island 05/30/2004

'This week on the Island' is written by Doug Bennett and is an update to friends about happenings in Key West last week. Everything is true except for those parts that are lies.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We had the Minimal Regatta this week. A team of people get together and build a boat and race it. Each team consist of 6 members. Each boat is built from 1 sheet of very thin plywood, two 2 x 4 's, a pound of fastners (screws), and a roll of duct tape. No glue or caulking. There are winners for faster sinker, best paint job, best dressed Captain, most original, and of course fastest. Our boat, the Drunken Parrot, looked like a small 6 foot row boat decorated to look like a parrot.

We started with the team meeting each night this week from 6 - 8 PM in my large (10' X 40') back yard. Monday we planned and took pictures of the material, Tuesday we cut and put together the frame, Wednesday we added the plywood, Thursday we sanded and painted, Friday we started the art work, Saturday we completed the boat, and Sunday we raced the boat. We lost our first race.

Other than that, I have been painting the new front porch. The guy from the city came to inspect and said I need 'hangers' at each 2x6 joint. I put up 27 hangers. I will need to reschedule the inspection.

Days painting and nights building a boat.

Key West, You have got to love it.
Doug Bennett

This week on the Island 05/23/2004

'This week on the Island' is written by Doug Bennett and is an update to friends about happenings in Key West last week. Everything is true except for those parts that are lies.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Most of my time this week has been spent rebuilding the front porch. It is complete except for the painting. I am one tired person. I hired, Jack, a friend that used to live in Key West, to help me. Jack came down from the Tampa area and moved in upstairs until the job was done. It took 1 1/2 weeks.

The square rigger 'Eagle' in docked at Mallory Square this week. It is a Coast Guard training ship. Square riggers are what we consider old looking ships, they have square sails. Most newer ships are built with triangle sales.

I noticed the rental complex next to the VFW was in the process of 'fence renewal'. It seems some 20 year old, got in his car at 4:00 AM Saturday morning. Backed out of the parking place, hit the gas, went about 30 feet and side swiped a parked car, made a quick left turn, crossed the street, and went thru the fence. Then he tried to back out and run, but his car was stuck. He also couldn't get out of the car because the fence post was against the drivers door. Inside the fence was the bicycle rack and he destroyed a bunch of them. He was taken to jail.

Key West, you have got to love it.
Doug Bennett

This week on the Island 05/16/2004

'This week on the Island' is written by Doug Bennett and is an update to friends about happenings in Key West last week. Everything is true except for those parts that are lies.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This week was my birthday. The big 60. I seem to be in pretty good shape. My friends were telling me I don't look a day over 59 1/2. I am 6 foot tall, weigh 185 pounds and have a 34 inch waist. My blood pressure this morning was 120/75. I walk, ride my bicycle and kayak for exercise. I think I have a good chance of making it at least to my next birthday.

On my birthday, I decided I was going to do what ever I wanted to do! (How would that be any different than any other day?) I visited a couple museums in town and then Jo and I went for a flight with the Key West Air Force. It consist of one, bright orange, WWI bi-plane. It was wonderful. Then we went to Schooner Wharf to share my birthday cake with our friends.

This week is the APBA Offshore Grand Prix. (Nascar at sea). We have talked about them in the past. Noisy boats that race around in the water. The wait people enjoy them as they normally leave big tips.

Key West Songwriters Festival this week. This gives many of the local songwriters a chance to play in clubs like Hog's Breath, Rick's, etc. Most of them are not that good.

We began work on replacing the front porch this week. We installed three 8 x8 support beams down stairs and the same upstairs. Now that we have the roof supported we can begin to tear out the upstairs porch next week.

The wind started blowing in Febuary and is still blowing. It makes it hard for the people that make their living on the water. For those of us on the land, it has brought cooler weather than normal. It is in the mid 70's at night and the mid 80's in the day with very low humidity. I love this weather.

Key West, You have got to love it.
Doug Bennett

This Week on the Island 05/09/2004

'This week on the Island' is written by Doug Bennett and is an update to friends about happenings in Key West last week. Everything is true except for those parts that are lies.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was asked why I send out my emails addressed to myself and blind carbon copy everyone else. That keeps others from 'spaming' all of you guys that are on my email list.

Last Saturday we went to the Buffett concert in Ft Lauderdale, Fl. That is 200 miles north! We left Key West at 9:00 AM and got to our room at 2:00 PM (5 hour drive). We decorated the Hummer and then spent some time around the pool. Later we drove over to the concert site and got set up for a little partying. The Hummer attracts all kinds of people. Watching the concert we found ourselves on the overhead screen that was showing Parrot Heads in the parking lot. We had a great time.

While out of town for the concert we hired some professional dog walkers to walk the dogs a few times a day. The lady that walked the dogs, Sue, said the dogs know more people than she did.

Cinco de Mayo was May 5th. Jo and I took the dogs and went to the celebration at Schooner Wharf Bar. They had a hot taco eating contest (eat 3 tacos, 1 hot pepper, 1 shot, and 1 corona) Jo and I both entered, but neither won. We did however get free food and drink and a t-shirt. For more on Cinco de Mayo go to http://www.vivacincodemayo.org/history.htm

Sunday is Mothers Day. Wyleigh and Sassy asked that I take Jo to some place for lunch. Of course they wanted to come along. After much discussion with the dogs, we decided that a good place would be Schooner Wharf. (What did you expect).

We have a 'square rigger' in the Key West Bight named the 'Crowith Cramer'. The sails are tied to the mast and are extended across the spar like vertical blinds by pulling ropes instead of being dropped from the spar. It is a student ship and teaches sailing.

June will be Chicken Fest. www.ckfw.com

Key West, You have got to love it.
Doug Bennett

PS
For those of you that have spent time in 'Rick's' across Duval street from Sloppy Joe's, you will be glad to know there is a new Rick's. It is in Casablanca, Morocco. We remember Casablanca from an old movie with Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman. But in this Cafe you have to say 'Play it again Issam'.

This Week on the Island 05/02/2004

'This week on the Island' is written by Doug Bennett and is an update to friends about happenings in Key West last week. Everything is true except for those parts that are lies.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"The Great Conch Republic' celebration continues

Monday was 'The Great Conch Republic' music celebration at Schooner Wharf Bar and it was followed by the 1st Second annual 'Great Conch Republic' cluck-off with the Key West chickens.
Tuesday was 'The Great Conch Republic' fashion show and the Captains meeting at Schooner Wharf for 'The Great Conch Republic sea battle.

Wednesday was 'The Great Conch Republic' goes hog wild at Hogs Breath saloon.

Thursday was 'The Great Conch Republic' Annual Party at the Crowne Plaza La Conch followed by 'The Great Conch Republic' longest parade from the Atlantic to the Gulf of Mexico. (The Southernmost Parrot Heads were in the parade). Then there was 'The Great Conch Republic parade party at Schooner Wharf.

Friday was 'The Great Conch Republic' raising of the colors at Fort Zackery Taylor. 'The Great Conch Republic' bloody battle was seen from Mallory Square after 'The Great Conch Republic' naval parade. After the battle there was 'The Great Conch Republic' victory celebration at Schooner Wharf.

Saturday was 'The Great Conch Republic Craft Fair on Green Street, followed by the 14th annual 'Great Conch Republic' Duval Street Bar Crawl. Then there was the 10th Second annual 'Great Conch Republic' pedicab downhill invitational followed by 'The Great Conch Republic' fiddlers contest. Next was 'The Great Conch Republic' bed race followed by 'The Great Conch Republic' pig roast at Schooner Wharf.

Sunday was the 14th annual 'Great Conch Republic' Conch Cruiser car show followed by 'The Great Conch Republic' Stargazer cruise on the Schooner Western Union.

Buffett was in Fort Lauderdale on Saturday, May 1st, so Jo and I had to miss some of the celebration for 'The Great Conch Republic. The Buffett show was wonderful. More on this next week.

Key West, You have got to love it.
Doug Bennett

This Week on the Island 04/25/2004

'This week on the Island' is written by Doug Bennett and is an update to friends about happenings in Key West last week. Everything is true except for those parts that are lies.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This week starts the celebration of 'The Great Conch Republic'

History: In April of 1982 the US Government used the US Border Patrol to block US#1 leading into the Keys. The story is that they were looking for illegal aliens. The traffic backed up for many miles on a daily basis and Key West, which lives on tourism, had very few visitors. Key West, felt that if the US Government was using the US Border Patrol, then they must consider the Keys as NOT being part of the US. Key West succeeded from the Union, threw stale Cuban bread at the US Navy personal that were invited to the meeting, then surrendered. We applied for $1 Billion in foreign aid to repair our war torn country.

Each year we celebrate this event by re-enacting many things that never happened in the first place. An example would be: the citizens march to Fort Zackery Taylor to re-enact the capture of the fort for 'The Great Conch Republic. (It never happened). We also have 'The Great Conch Republic' sea battle that never happened.

Friday was the opening of 'The Great Conch Republic' store at 430 Duval followed by the kick off party for 'The Great Conch Republic Celebration' at Schooner Wharf Bar. All of the dignitaries of 'The Great Conch Republic' were there. The new Conch Republic flag was unveiled and we had 'The Great Conch Republic' conch shell blowing contest. The Caribbean Queen Junkanoo band played and was followed by Buffalo Strange.

Saturday was a full day.'The Great Conch Republic' 7 mile bridge run was held at 7:00 AM. There were almost 1,800 participants. All traffic if both directions was stopped for the race. 'The Great Conch Republic' Drag races were held on Duval Street. Extra points were accumulated by any drag queen with heels greater that the mandatory 3 inches. This was followed by 'The Great conch Republic' drag queen boxing match. Makeup was messed up as the queens got into it. The Green Parrot was the host for 'The Great Conch Republic' Royal Investiture Party.

Sunday was 'The Great Conch Republic' dessert contest at Bayview Park, followed by 'The Great Conch Republic' wreakers race finals at Schooner Wharf. (Best viewing from Mallory Square.)

More next week.

Key West, you have got to love it.
Doug Bennett

This Week on the Island 04/18/2004

'This week on the Island' is written by Doug Bennett and is an update to friends about happenings in Key West last week. Everything is true except for those parts that are lies.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Key West gets less rain than any other city in the state of Florida. The fall and winter is our dry season. I think the dry season is over, it rained all day Monday and Tuesday. Lots of rain. I used the time to clean the inside of the house, ceiling fans, AC filters, flip mattress', and even catch a few Z's.

The week before Easter it was hot and humid. It felt like summer. This week after the rain it was in the mid 70's with low humidity. It has been beautiful. On Friday it was 75 degrees in Key West and 85 degrees in Chicago.

We have had a sailfish fishing contest all week. Mallory Square has had a large tent covering about 2/3 of the area. This has really put a damper on the daily Sunset Celebration. The only ones allowed in the tent are the people register for the fishing contest.

Toby Keith is over at Buffett's Shrimp Boat Sounds recording studio. I don't know his music but Jo does.

Adrian & Chrissy have an air brush shop on Lazy Lane. I purchased a new sheet of 4 * 8 Styrofoam and cut a new shark fin for the top of the Hummer. Adrian & Chrissy have painted it and we used the left over Styrofoam to make shark teeth for the front of the Hummer. We plan on using them in the Conch Republic Parade on April 29th and at the Buffett Concert in Ft Lauderdale on May 1st.

Key West, you have got to love it.
Doug Bennett

PS
Thanks to those of you that reply to my weekly emails. I enjoy hearing from you.

This Week on the Island 04/11/2004

'This week on the Island' is written by Doug Bennett and is an update to friends about happenings in Key West last week. Everything is true except for those parts that are lies.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Happy Easter! Hope you found all the eggs.

Jo bought me '101 Crossword Puzzles for Dummies'. I can't even get those answers correct. [54 across - tiny place - 13 letters - 'holeinthewall']. [23 across - jealous to the max - 13 letters - 'greenwithenvy']. [5 across - ham fisted - 5 letters - 'pawed']. [9 down - judge anew - 6 letters - 'derate']. I do much better with financial crosswords.

It has been beautiful here for months, but the humidity has started to rise along with the temperature. We now run the small AC in the bedroom at night.

Saturday was pet day at Bayview Park on the corner of Palm Ave and Truman Ave. I assume in the past, before the dredge and fill days, you could see the Bay from the Park, but not anymore. Lots of dogs there to meet and have their picture made with the Easter Bunny.

Leather Masters had a 'Leather Master' contest on Saturday. It is interesting the things they can do with leather.

Key West, You have got to love it.
Doug Bennett---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Food In Key West

Directions from 706 Caroline Street: I do not rate on atmosphere and I do not like reservations but they get extra points if they allow dogs.

Take a RIGHT (3 blocks more or less)

$ B. O. 's Fish Wagon, corner of Williams and Caroline. Go out front door and take a right. Walk ½ block, it is on the left. Great fish sandwich, good hot dog, I love the cup of black beans and rice with onions and green olives. Local prices, dogs welcome.

$$ Pepe's , 806 Caroline. Go out front door and take a right. Walk 1 block. it is on the right. Good breakfast, long lines. Every Thursday the lunch is Thanksgiving.

$ Harpoon Harry's, corner of Margaret and Caroline. Go out the front door and take a right. Walk 1 ½ blocks, it is on the right. Good little cafe. My favorite breakfast is Harpoon Harry's Special, lunch is the meal of the day. Many more choices. Local prices.

$ Finnegan's Wake, corner of Grinnell and James. Go out the front door and take a right. Walk 2 ½ blocks to the parking garage and take a right. Go 1/2 block; it is on your right. Irish food. My wife loves their liver and onions, I like their meatloaf. Local prices, dogs welcome.

$ P. T. 's Late Nite, 900 block of Caroline. Go out front door and take a right. Walk 2 blocks, it is on your right. I love their Cuban roast pork with black beans, rice and plantains. My wife loves their fajitas. Many more choices. Local prices.

$$ Half Shell Raw Bar, at the foot of Margaret Street. Go out the front door and take a right. Go 1 ½ blocks to Margaret and take a left, it is on the water. Many tourists go here, I don't care for it.

$$ Turtle Kraals, at the foot of Margaret Street. Go out the front door and take a right. Go 1 ½ blocks to Margaret and take a left. It is on the water. Many tourists go here. The burger is good. The view from the deck is wonderful. Dogs welcome.

$ Schooner Wharf Bar, at the foot of Williams. Go out the front door and take a right. Go ½ block to Williams and take a left, it is on the water. Live music and it's all outside. View from deck is wonderful. I like the burger and the Mayan chicken quesadilla, my wife likes the taco salad. Dogs are welcome to bring their owners along. Local prices.

$ Paradise Café on the corner of Grinnell and Eaton. Go out the front door and take a right and go 2 ½ blocks to Grinnell and take a right. Go one block to Eaton. Paradise Café is across the street on the left. Sub type sandwiches. Cuban mix is pretty good. Local prices, dogs welcome.


Take a Left (3 blocks more or less)
$ VFW on Elizabeth. Go out the front door and take a left 100 steps to Elizabeth. Take a right on Elizabeth and go ½ block. Sunday breakfast for $4.50. The only bar with beer before noon on Sunday. Ex-GI and locals hangout. Local prices.

$ Conch Republic Seafood Company on the corner of Elizabeth and Green. Go out the front door and take a left, go 100 steps to Elizabeth and take a right and go 1 block. It is on the water. Tourist hangout. The view from the front looking over the bight is wonderful. I don't eat here; but if I do I get the chicken strips. Dogs welcome.

$$$ The Commodore on the boardwalk of the Key West Bight. Go out the front door and take a left and go 100 steps to Elizabeth. Take a right on Elizabeth and go 2 blocks (stay on the boardwalk). The Commodore is on the left. Fine dinning. No dogs allowed, we don't go there.

$$$ A & B Lobster and Alonzo's Oyster Bar on the corner of Front and the Key West Bight. Go out the front door and take a left and go 100 steps to Elizabeth Street. Take a right on Elizabeth and go 2 blocks to Front Street (stay on the boardwalk). Fine dinning. No dogs allowed, we don't go there.

$ Fogarty's on the corner of Caroline and Duval. Go out the front door and take a left and go 2 plus 100 steps. Forgarty's is on the right (across from the Bull and Whistle and the Garden of Eden). Great burger and good Quesadilla . The seats facing Duval gives you a view of 'what's happening' on Duval. Local prices, dogs welcome.

Further than 3 blocks
$ The Court House Deli on the corner of Whitehead and Southard. (Across from the Green Parrot). Go out the front door and take a left and go 3 ½ blocks to Whitehead. Turn left on Whitehead and go 3 blocks to Southard. The Court House Deli is across the street on your right. Voted the best Cuban Mix sandwich in Key West by my wife. Local prices. Take your sandwich over to the Green Parrot and get a beer.

$ The Meteor (ribs) on Southard next to the Green Parrot. Go out the front door and take a left and go 3 ½ blocks to Whitehead and take a left. Go 3 blocks to Southard and take a left. The Meteor is on the right. Dogs are welcome. The Meteor sign was on the building when these people moved in. The sign was left over from a TV series about a newspaper office in Key West. The TV series didn't make it. Local prices, dogs welcome.

$ Fausto's on Fleming and Bahama. This is a grocery store but they offer the meal of the day in the back as a take out. Go out the front door and take a left and go 100 steps to Elizabeth. Take a left and go up the hill to Eaton. (You are now 16 feet above sea level and the highest point on the island other than the graveyard). Stay on Elizabeth for 2 more blocks to Southard. Take a right on Southard and go 1 ½ blocks. Local prices.

$ El Siboney (Cuban), 900 Catherine, on the corner of Grinnell and Catherine. Go out the front door and get your BIKE. Take a right and go 2 ½ blocks to Grinnell and take a right. Go 1 block to Eaton and take a left. (You can't stay on Grinnell because the graveyard takes up the middle of the island). Go 1 block to White and take a right. Go 8 blocks to Catherine and take a right. Gets crowded, go early. Local prices.

$$$ Louie's Back Yard on Vernon and Waddell (next to Dog Beach). Go out the front door and get on your BIKE. Take a left and go 2 ½ blocks to Duval and take a left. Go to the other side of the island (11 blocks) to South Street and take a left. Go 2 blocks to Vernon and take a right. Go 1 block to Dog Beach; Louie's is on the left. If you don't do anything else, at least go here to drink a beer. The view of the Atlantic is very good. Buffett sings about Louie's Back Yard in 'Trying to Reason with Hurricane Season' - I stumbled next door to the bar.

This Week on the Island 04/04/2004

'This week on the Island' is written by Doug Bennett and is an update to friends about happenings in Key West last week. Everything is true except for those parts that are lies.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

04/04/04 Somebody somewhere will think this is some kind of sign!

Sassi, our new rescued Siberian Husky, likes the ocean. Wyleigh does not. Also, Sassi, from time to time, goes behind the shower curtain and walks around in the tub. I don't understand that one.

Speaking of understanding things. I am amazed at the number of tourist that do not know why the ceiling on the front porch is painted blue. (You paint it blue so the insects will think it is the sky and not build their nest up there.) The tourist also ask about the woodwork on the house (gingerbread). The woodwork was an advertisement for the type of work the person did that lived in the house. Our house has pineapples, so I guess the guy that built it worked on the old pineapple farms here in the keys.

Key West is a tourist town. People act differently on vacation than they act at home. We like to call it 'letting our hair down'. This leads to some unusual happenings. - The Hummer sits across the street from the house and we watch tourist all day long having their pictures made with the Hummer. I enjoy hearing one tourist tell another tourist all about Hummers. They are usually wrong. At night tourist like to leave their drinks on the hood of the Hummer or steal things from the Hummer. Tuesday night someone stole my 'ParrotHead' tag from the front bumper. The Hummer has been Keyed on both sides. We have even had to chase tourist off the rack on the top of the Hummer. One night we had to call the cops on a guy in a jeep trying to 'crawl' over the Hummer. He was bumper to bumper, pushing and trying to get his jeep to rise so it could 'crawl' over the Hummer. - The house is decorated with parrots. We purchased two very nice balsam wood parrots to decorate the hurricane shutters on the front window. Someone stole them right off the front porch. Another night we had to call the cops on a guy sitting in the rocking chair on the front porch. He refused to leave. The cops got him off the porch and then he told them that he had not been on our property. The cops arrested him. He was a cop from another city.

The Zulderdam is in the harbor today. It appears to be a lesbian cruise with about 2,500 passengers. We have many women with butch haircuts, holding hands and walking and touring all over the island.

Key West, you have got to love it.
Doug Bennett

You know you're from Key West when:
1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, nose ring, and is named Breeze.
5. You can't remember... is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You and your co-workers have Cuban bread and Bucci for breakfast.
8. You have never owned a car.
9. You know the difference between real and fake Key Lime Pie.
10. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
11. The Crime report is a source of daily entertainment.
12. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the US
13. A man walks down the street in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.
14. Unlike back home, the lady downtown wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like Madonna IS Madonna.
15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
16. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman whodelivers your mail is into S & M and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
17. You know where Jimmy Buffett lives.
18. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every newsstation about "HURRICANE WATCH 2004."
19. The local bar owner is also mayor.
20. If it's 60 degrees F, you break out the fur coat and space heaters.
21. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
22. Hey!!!! Is pot illegal????
23. Both you AND your cat have therapists.
24. Your power goes off before you finish reading thi.....