Saturday, January 17, 2015

This Week on the Island 01/18/2015

‘This Week on the Island’ is written by Doug Bennett and is an update to friends about happenings in Key West last week. Everything is true except for those parts that are lies.
Weather: Some rain, lots of sunshine. Mostly in the 70’s.
This week I read ‘The Key West Reader’. The best of Key West writters’ 1830-1990.
I had a tourist at Turtle Kraals ask ‘Where do you keep the manatees?’ – in the ocean

I heard another ask as he walked down Duval ‘How far is it to mile marker 37?’-37 miles
It got me to thinking about the really dumb things I have been asked.
How long is the 7 mile bridge? 7 miles
If there are 42 bridges to Key West, which one do I take? All 42 of them
Does the water go all the way around the island? Definition of an island
What keeps the island from floating away? A big anchor
What kind of money do you accept here? American
What time is the second sunset? What second sunset?
Does the sun always set west of Mallory Square?

How far is it between mile markers? 1 mile
Are the coconut trees real? Yes

Where do the homeless people live? If they had a place to live, they wouldn’t be homeless.
Are the gay people real or actors?
Is there anything to do in Key West?
Can you watch the sunset from Mallory Square every night?
Can I get my money back if they cancel sunset?
How far is it to America from here?
Why do so many people speak Mexican? They are Cuban and speak Spanish.
Are the wild alligators tame?  Wild –Tamed?
Why isn’t it cold here in August? She thought she was south of the equator.

I’ve looked all over Key West and haven’t found Paradise yet.
The tourist with 7 small empty bottles. She wanted to get a little of each color of water in the Keys. (The water is clear, the color comes from what is on the bottom).
Can I ride the Conch Train to Cuba? How long can you hold your breath underwater?
It was spring break and had been raining for days. A young lady said, ‘It’s OK, it doesn’t rain inside the bars’.
Do I need a passport to go to the reef?
What street is the lighted boat parade on? Boats are in the water

The Western Union is a Schooner (boat) in the Key West Bight. They are frequently asked. I need to send some money by Western Union. How long will it take?

 Key West you have got to love it
'Close to Perfect, far from Normal’
Doug Bennett
Lat 24.5591N, Long 81.8016W
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